there are some things we all think you should know. firstly, us black jews [us REAL ones: ortho, reform, conserv, what have you] would like to deeply thank you for f*cking the term “hebrew” up for all of us and for making a general mockery of our existence. thanks ever so. no really. that’s not being sarcastic at all. to say us and the rest of judaism are following a “false religion” is extremely funny coming from a cult-like group that follows a judaism-christian hybrid which neither side acknowledges. seriously guys. you make “sacrifices” on barbeque pits in the middle of the sidewalk. that sound you hear is 2009 knocking on the door trying to get in. or maybe its reality. i can never tell.
dear israelites, what is your perseveration in saying that we are slaves to a “white” book? [i.e., the talmud…the fact notwithstanding that you follow the new testament…which was orignally written in greek…and canonized by a roman emperor…so yeah, do the math there…]
dear israelites, even if the talmud is a “white” book [which would be highly unlikely, it having been composed in babylon and israel]. so what? is there anything inherently “white” about saying “you can start prayer in the morning when the light is strong enough to distinguish between blue and green”? or about saying “this is how you make tzitzit. not just some graduation tassels attached to your jeans”? or “hey don’t go wandering around at weird hours alone”? or “to save a life is to save the entire world”? its just helpful guidance, man. do you not use light because thomas edison invented the lightbulb and he’s white? or you don’t drive cars because they were invented by white henry ford? and i KNOW y’all wear cotton. that’s a whole bag of slavery-filled worms in itself.
and by the way, we get it. hell a lot of us even agree: the original jews were black. that having been said, so what? what’s the point of standing on the corner on your loudspeaker on Shabbat telling us how black the first jews were when, y’know, YOU’RE STANDING ON THE CORNER ON YOUR LOUDSPEAKER ON SHABBAT?? that’s like a homeless guy talking about his rich his parents are. what’s the point? either actually be about it or shut up. we’re really not interested in the out of context scriptures you’re hive-mind chanting at us anyway.
and speaking of scripture, please direct me to where it says “behold, and thou shalt dress in a manner as if thou art the bastard offspring of a threesome between the power rangers, the village people, and lawrence of arabia.”
dear israelites, if the rumors are true, why do you pay white people to play dumb so you can defeat them with your dubious logic? b/c by all rights your arguments should go down something like this:
“the so-called white jews are pretenders. that’s why they’re jew-ish! what does reddish mean? not really red, right? what does bluish mean? kinda blue, right? so they’re jew-ish. not really jews, but kinda.”
“…so if I’m irish, does that mean I’m almost from ireland?”
see? why would someone not make that normal logical progression unless they were being paid not to? tricksy, tricksy israelites, you.
i’m almost baffled at how you’re able to recruit, what with you fighting white ppl, condescending on black ppl, suppressing women and collecting wives like pokemon.
but i gotta admit i’m a lil bit jealous. you guys have got your schools and “temples” and communities and such. even a website. that’s more than us JOCs have. if only there were a way to harness your power.
and, y’know, not have the crazy rub off.
[now, before anyone thinks this is a free for all: the main purpose of this post is to give a voice to jocs who feel israelites cause their existence to be ridiculed and to clarify the difference to regular black folk the difference between black jews and hebrew israelites, and more importantly that black jews are not stephen fletchit uncle tom’s blindly following “white ppl” around. something actually goes on in our heads. no this isn’t an opportunity for all the closet racists to slink out of the closet and begin racially charged tirades thinly veiled as indignation. im not for you, im against them. that “enemy of my enemy” deal doesn’t fly with me. you guys come from the same chasm of ignorance and racism. also, im not insinuating that anyone posting a comment here who happens to be white is one of the aforementioned closet racists. but if you are, you have been put on notice. that is all.]
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