Urban Parsha Shoftim [deut 16:18-21:9]

urban parsha”.  it’s just like regular torah.  but ghetto.

and so G said, “so when y’all get up in the crib, y’all needs to set up some popo and 5-0. and make sure them cats ain’t shady, neither. also, don’t come up in My House with some busted looking heifer telling me “nah G, its cool. this is for you.”  that ish is not sweet. now y’all are gonna want someone over y’all like a boss, so go ahead and do you, but dude can’t be od-ing on all them rides, bagging mad dimepieces, and chasing that paper. if you happen to accidentally smoke a dude, i got you. i got some cribs set up where you can dip for a minute. when i tell y’all to roll up on some next cats, y’all be ready to roll out. but if you got a new crib you aint posted up in yet, or planted some trees you ain’t got to blaze yet, or bagged a shorty but aint wifed her up yet, or if you just straight up p*****, y’all aint got to roll with the crew.”

[good lord i think i felt brain cells die writing that. and this is how some people speak?  for real?  cmon now, didnt what you just read seem even vaguely ridiculous?  well thats how you sound.  lets get it together black ppl.  acting black is acting black. acting ghetto is just acting stupid…

…as for “urban parsha“…hey, when something is really, truly, internally yours?  you can have a lot of fun with it.  shabbat shalom.]

–MaNishtana

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