Shoutout to Abe Adler for the title.
So. Let’s step back for a second and step onto a different track. Its obvious that Jews arent gonna accept JC as the Messiah. But why not as a regular ol’ prophet? Throw a guy a bone, right?
After all, dont Christians point to Deut 18:18-19 as referring to JC?:
“I will raise them up a Prophet from among their brethren, like unto thee, and will put my words in his mouth; and he shall speak unto them all that I shall command him.And it shall come to pass, [that] whosoever will not hearken unto my words which he shall speak in my name, I will require [it] of him.”
Who else could this be speaking of but JC, right? And according to this Gd HIMSELF requires that we listen, right?
Well actually, the purpose of this verse is to establish the authenticity of ANY prophet who came after Moses. If, as Christianity insists, it refers solely to JC, then what basis do we have for listening to Elijah, Isaiah, Zechariah, and all the rest of the prophets? And even IF it WERE referring to JC, JC still would not be the end all and be all of Judaism, so says this bit over in Deut 34:10:
“And there arose not a prophet since in Israel like unto Moses, whom the LORD knew face to face.”
So, clearly, JC, just like ALL prophets, would’ve been a prophet of a lesser stature than Moses. But still, why dont Jews at least accept JC as a prophet? Well let’s look at Deut 18:18-19 again. this time in that ever so pesky and inconvenient thing called “context”:
“I will raise them up a Prophet from among their brethren, like unto thee, and will put my words in his mouth; and he shall speak unto them all that I shall command him.And it shall come to pass, [that] whosoever will not hearken unto my words which he shall speak in my name, I will require [it] of him. But the prophet, which shall presume to speak a word in my name, which I have not commanded him to speak, or that shall speak in the name of other gods, even that prophet shall die. And if thou say in thine heart, How shall we know the word which the LORD hath not spoken? When a prophet speaketh in the name of the LORD, if the thing follow not, nor come to pass, that [is] the thing which the LORD hath not spoken, [but] the prophet hath spoken it presumptuously: thou shalt not be afraid of him.” [Deut 18:18-22].
So there you have it. Jews dont accept JC as any other kind of prophet than a false one. What? Whats that you say? Name one time JC prophesied in the name of other gods? Or said something falsely in the Lrd’s name? I’ll do you one better:
Find me one time–just ONE–where JC actually USES Gd’s name to prophesize. Every other prophet EVER always starts their prophecies with “thus saith the Lrd”.
“Verily I say unto thee”.
How could JC be a prophet of Gd if he NEVER, EVER SPOKE IN GD’S NAME??? That would just make him some guy talking. Some might even say “presumptuously”.
But let’s, for a second, agree that JC IS speaking in Gds name. Remember that “if the thing follow not, nor come to pass, that [is] the thing which the LORD hath not spoken…thou shalt not be afraid of him” part?
Well JC seems to do a lot of that:
“And as he went out of the temple, one of his disciples saith unto him, Master, see what manner of stones and what buildings [are here]!And Jesus answering said unto him, Seest thou these great buildings? there shall not be left one stone upon another, that shall not be thrown down.” [Mark 13:1-2].
As any tourist who’s every LOOKED at a brochure for Israel can tell you, the Western Wall of the Second Temple is still standing long and strong. Has been for over two thousand years. Amazing thing for a place that sees more bombings than an Ashley Simspon tour. #prophecyfail.
“But take ye heed: behold, I have foretold you all things.But in those days, after that tribulation, the sun shall be darkened, and the moon shall not give her light,And the stars of heaven shall fall, and the powers that are in heaven shall be shaken.And then shall they see the Son of man coming in the clouds with great power and glory. And then shall he send his angels, and shall gather together his elect from the four winds, from the uttermost part of the earth to the uttermost part of heaven.Now learn a parable of the fig tree; When her branch is yet tender, and putteth forth leaves, ye know that summer is near: So ye in like manner, when ye shall see these things come to pass, know that it is nigh, [even] at the doors.Verily I say unto you, that this generation shall not pass, till all these things be done.” [Mark 13:23-30]
Um, yeah. Again with the two thousand years and counting. Also, that generation is deader than Tom Cruise’s respectability. #prophecyfail
JC tells Peter he’s gonna betray him 3 times before the [*snicker*] cock crows:
“Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, That this night, before the cock crow, thou shalt deny me thrice.” [Matt 26:34]
“And he said, I tell thee, Peter, the cock shall not crow this day, before that thou shalt thrice deny that thou knowest me.” [Luke 22:34]
But go over to Mark 14:66-72:
“And as Peter was beneath in the palace, there cometh one of the maids of the high priest: And when she saw Peter warming himself, she looked upon him, and said, And thou also wast with Jesus of Nazareth. But he denied, saying, I know not, neither understand I what thou sayest. And he went out into the porch; and the cock crew. And a maid saw him again, and began to say to them that stood by, This is [one] of them. And he denied it again. And a little after, they that stood by said again to Peter, Surely thou art [one] of them: for thou
art a Galilaean, and thy speech agreeth [thereto]. But he began to curse and to swear, [saying], I know not this man of whom ye speak. And the second time the cock crew. And Peter called to mind the word that Jesus said unto him, Before the cock crow twice, thou shalt deny me thrice. And when he thought thereon, he wept.”
Not only does the [*snicker*] cock crow after Peter denies him ONCE [not thrice, as predicted], the prophecy also gets also edited so that all of a sudden it reads “before the cock crow TWICE”.#cockfail
And let’s not forget the New Testament version of the money shot: the resurrection prophecy:
“Then certain of the scribes and of the Pharisees answered, saying, Master, we would see a sign from thee.But he answered and said unto them, An evil and adulterous generation seeketh after a sign; and there shall no sign be given to it, but the sign of the prophet Jonas: For as Jonas was three days and three nights in the whale’s belly; so shall the Son of man be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth.” [Matt 12:38-40]
This one is chock full of #prophecyfail.
JC was crucified and buried on a Friday:
“The Jews therefore, because it was the preparation, that the bodies should not remain upon the cross on the sabbath day, (for that sabbath day was an high day,) besought Pilate that their legs might be broken, and [that] they might be taken away.Then came the soldiers, and brake the legs of the first, and of the other which was crucified with him. But when they came to Jesus, and saw that he was dead already, they brake not his legs:” [John 19:30-33]
“And that day was the preparation, and the sabbath drew on.And the women also, which came with him from Galilee, followed after, and beheld the sepulchre, and how his body was laid.And they returned, and prepared spices and ointments; and rested the sabbath day according to the commandment.” [Luke 24:54-56]
[Remember now, this is pre-Constantine, so the Christian Sunday Sabbath doesn’t exist yet].
However, JC arises on SUNDAY:
“In the end of the sabbath, as it began to dawn toward the first [day] of the week, came Mary Magdalene and the other Mary to see the sepulchre.And, behold, there was a great earthquake: for the angel of the Lord descended from heaven, and came and rolled back the stone from the door, and sat upon it.” [Matt 28:1-2]
“And when the sabbath was past, Mary Magdalene, and Mary the [mother] of James, and Salome, had bought sweet spices, that they might come and anoint him.And very early in the morning the first [day] of the week, they came unto the sepulchre at the rising of the sun.And they said among themselves, Who shall roll us away the stone from the door of the sepulchre? And when they looked, they saw that the stone was rolled away: for it was very great.” [Mark 16:1-4]
Again, this is Jewish sabbath still. so the first day of the week would be Sunday…meaning JC was “in the belly of the earth” for Friday night, Saturday morning, Saturday night, and not even Sunday morning since he’s apparently gone before dawn on Sunday. Thats not “three days and three nights”. Thats TWO nights tops, and ONE day. even if you count that itty bitty part of Sunday, at most its TWO days and TWO nights.
Also, when exactly did JC say he would rise again?
Mark 8:31 says AFTER the third day:
“And he began to teach them, that the Son of man must suffer many things, and be rejected of the elders, and [of] the chief priests, and scribes, and be killed, and after three days rise again.”
But Matthew 17:22-23 says ON the third day:
“And while they abode in Galilee, Jesus said unto them, The Son of man shall be betrayed into the hands of men: And they shall kill him, and the third day he shall be raised again. And they were exceeding sorry.”
So which is it? If i tell you i’ll meet you AFTER Wednesday, its very different from saying I’ll meet you ON Wednesday. Hedging our bets are we?
Also, what does all this resurrection fudging do to the Christian belief?? After all:
“But if there be no resurrection of the dead, then is Christ not risen: And if Christ be not risen, then [is] our preaching vain, and your faith [is] also vain.” [1 Cor 15:13-14]
But he OBVIOUSLY rose, you say. Which is the problem: YOU say. The point of JC’s resurrection was to be a sign to the PHARISEES remember? And he never appeared to them after his resurrection. Only to his followers. Who are OBVIOUSLY gonna say he rose.
For people who weren’t Jewish “anymore”, they sure knew how to run a scam.
So, you might ask, if JC was such a false prophet and such, how was he able to perform miracles? After all, thats what the people asked back in his time as well:
“Therefore said some of the Pharisees, This man is not of God, because he keepeth not the sabbath day. Others said, How can a man that is a sinner do such miracles? And there was a division among them.” [John 9:16]
The answer of course being in Deut 13:1-5:
“If there arise among you a prophet, or a dreamer of dreams, and giveth thee a sign or a wonder,And the sign or the wonder come to pass, whereof he spake unto thee, saying, Let us go after other gods, which thou hast not known, and let us serve them;Thou shalt not hearken unto the words of that prophet, or that dreamer of dreams: for the LORD your God proveth you, to know whether ye love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul.Ye shall walk after the LORD your God, and fear him, and keep his commandments, and obey his voice, and ye shall serve him, and cleave unto him.And that prophet, or that dreamer of dreams, shall be put to death; because he hath spoken to turn [you] away from the LORD your God, which brought you out of the land of Egypt, and redeemed you out of the house of bondage, to thrust thee out of the way which the LORD thy God commanded thee to walk in. So shalt thou put the evil away from the midst of thee.”
Alright. Digest it. We’ll meet back here for Sunday. Or after it.