Hookers For Virginity

[shoutout to julie sandurg for the title. and the title is actually kinda next-level ironic, seeing how much the nt loves hookers and virgins and all…]

so, in this final installment, we’re gonna tackle the whole mashiach ben yoseph/mashiach ben david deal.

for those not i the know, there is the jewish concept of two messiahs: one descended for joseph and one from david. the concept of the joseph messiah is a purely rabbincal one, based on exegesis of zech 12:9-14

“And it shall come to pass in that day, [that] I will seek to destroy all the nations that come against Jerusalem.And I will pour upon the house of David, and upon the inhabitants of Jerusalem, the spirit of grace and of supplications: and they shall look upon me whom they have pierced, and they shall mourn for him, as one mourneth for [his] only [son], and shall be in bitterness for him, as one that is in bitterness for [his] firstborn.In that day shall there be a great mourning in Jerusalem, as the mourning of Hadadrimmon in the valley of Megiddon.And the land shall mourn, every family apart; the family of the house of David apart, and their wives apart; the family of the house of Nathan apart, and their wives apart;The family of the house of Levi apart, and their wives apart; the family of Shimei apart, and their wives apart;All the families that remain, every family apart, and their wives apart.”

ezekiel 37:15-28

“The word of the LORD came again unto me, saying,Moreover, thou son of man, take thee one stick, and write upon it, For Judah, and for the children of Israel his companions: then take another stick, and write upon it, For Joseph, the stick of Ephraim, and [for] all the house of Israel his companions:And join them one to another into one stick; and they shall become one in thine hand.And when the children of thy people shall speak unto thee, saying, Wilt thou not shew us what thou [meanest] by these?Say unto them, Thus saith the Lord GOD; Behold, I will take the stick of Joseph, which [is] in the hand of Ephraim, and the tribes of Israel his fellows, and will put them with him, [even] with the stick of Judah, and make them one stick, and they shall be one in mine hand.And the sticks whereon thou writest shall be in thine hand before their eyes.And say unto them, Thus saith the Lord GOD; Behold, I will take the children of Israel from among the heathen, whither they be gone, and will gather them on every side, and bring them into their own land:And I will make them one nation in the land upon the mountains of Israel; and one king shall be king to them all: and they shall be no more two nations, neither shall they be divided into two kingdoms any more at all:Neither shall they defile themselves any more with their idols, nor with their detestable things, nor with any of their transgressions: but I will save them out of all their dwellingplaces, wherein they have sinned, and will cleanse them: so shall they be my people, and I will be their God.And David my servant [shall be] king over them; and they all shall have one shepherd: they shall also walk in my judgments, and observe my statutes, and do them.And they shall dwell in the land that I have given unto Jacob my servant, wherein your fathers have dwelt; and they shall dwell therein, [even] they, and their children, and their children’s children for ever: and my servant David [shall be] their prince for ever.Moreover I will make a covenant of peace with them; it shall be an everlasting covenant with them: and I will place them, and multiply them, and will set my sanctuary in the midst of them for evermore.My tabernacle also shall be with them: yea, I will be their God, and they shall be my people.And the heathen shall know that I the LORD do sanctify Israel, when my sanctuary shall be in the midst of them for evermore.”

obadiah 1:17-21

“But upon mount Zion shall be deliverance, and there shall be holiness; and the house of Jacob shall possess their possessions.And the house of Jacob shall be a fire, and the house of Joseph a flame, and the house of Esau for stubble, and they shall kindle in them, and devour them; and there shall not be [any] remaining of the house of Esau; for the LORD hath spoken [it].And [they of] the south shall possess the mount of Esau; and [they of] the plain the Philistines: and they shall possess the fields of Ephraim, and the fields of Samaria: and Benjamin [shall possess] Gilead.And the captivity of this host of the children of Israel [shall possess] that of the Canaanites, [even] unto Zarephath; and the captivity of Jerusalem, which [is] in Sepharad, shall possess the cities of the south.And saviours shall come up on mount Zion to judge the mount of Esau; and the kingdom shall be the LORD’S.”

…as well as numerous other talmudic sources, the basic gist of all of them being the following:

1-they are two different people from two different tribal families.

2-they live at the same time.

3-joseph messiah never takes the throne nor is he entitled to.

4-joseph messiah is a warrior

5-joseph messiah will be killed in battle and will be the first to be raised from the dead by david messiah.

6-the period of time from when joseph messiah first shows up until he is resurrected after the david messiah avenges him is very short.

7-we’re looking at a seven year span, starting with problems that get better in the sixth year, then worse again. in the seventh there’s the gog/magog wars where at joseph messiah is successful, but then he gets killed. at the end of these seven years, david messiah shows up.

8-also, the usual gamut of in-gathering exiles, rebuilding temple, establishing temple service.

many christians try to claim jc as the “messiah son of joseph” [most prolly because jc is a son of a “joseph”]. however problems abound because:

1-”son of joseph” means the tribe, not the man. in fact, this mesiah is descended from ephraim.

2-the same lineage problems exist. even moreso, since the nt goes through great lengths to prove jc comes from david, so an ephraim descent is CLEARLY waaaay out of the picture

3-jc never fought or died in a war.

4-there was no “messiah son of david” opposite number for jc

5-jc cannot come back as the david messiah, as some christians try to claim. the two messiahs are two clearly different figures. also, its kinda impossible to come back and then resurrect yourself.

6-jc, again, accomplished none of the business of beginning the process of gathering the lost tribes, rebuilding the temple or re-establishing temple service [the last two of which, again, were impossible for him to accomplish since they were still ongoing in his time and didnt cease until nearly 40 years after his death].

anyhoo, thats all i got. maybe ill come back later and expand on the dual messiahs thing, but for right now, we’re done here.

and so i bid you all adieu. it’s been real kids.

manishtanasignoff

MaNishtana@manishtana.net

twitter.com/MaNishtana

Order Thoughts From A Unicorn: 100% Black. 100% Jewish. 0% Safe.

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